Team BBMC Beer Mile 2012
This was my one last chance to save my season and end on a high note. The night before the big race, coach Blake sent out a text with our PBR covered trophy. That is mine I thought. I wanted this bad, worse then anything ever. If anyone knows me I drink PBR all the time. I pour it in my Wheaties, drink it with my dinner, and of course wash all pills down with a nice cold can of PBR. PBR, well it’s a way of life for me.
I stood on the starting line nearly butt naked with a can of PBR, speedo, and a John Deere hat on my head ready to lay the smackdown!. “GO” was shouted I had that beer down in less then 10 seconds. I took off per my usual to hot to handle pace, but this was the beer mile, too short to blow up. I nailed the first ¼ mile leading the pack back into transition. I started my 2nd beer and felt the heavy foam of the ice cold PBR sitting in my belly. “Focus” I thought. I opened my second can and embraced the glory of that good old Milwaukee PBR taste. This one was a bit harder to take down so fast, but I was getting it down. I took off for the 2nd run and felt Dan hot on my feet. “Oh man, how did that old man drink so fast”, he passed me heading back into transition, but not by too much. I knew his stomach was heavy too, “Game on!”. It wasn’t about speed, it was about chugging, my blurry years of college reminded me I had the skills to win. We started our third beers and the doubts came into my head again “you always puke on the third beer” “NO!” I said in my head, nothing better then having your teammates help you out of the darkest part of the beer mile…beer #3. I took off, this time I fell back to third place. As soon as I started running the beer came right back up. I tried my full belly beer filled hardest to hold all 36ounces of PBR in, but it was too hard. I tried but it shout out both my nostrils as I was lying down the best pace I could hold. With the smell of PBR puke in my nostrils I wasn’t going to go out like that. One final stroll into transition and I tried to find any room left in my belly for another 12 ounces of good ole PBR, I noticed a lot of foam surrounded the top of my can “Who shooke my cans!?”, or did I grab the can too hard and shook it up myself? I knew I made a mistake and took in too much air on my first 3 beers. Beer #4 down and I cruised back home finishing out the podium with a fine 10:44 beer mile.
Beer mile 2012 was a complete success. Never in my life have I dug so deep and fought through such a hard buzz to cross the line before my drunk hit me. I wanted that trophy but was beat by the better man. Maybe it was my choice to be a man and drink PBR while my podium mates both drank the very light and unmanly Miller Lite. Whatever it was, as we walked back home and my drunk settling in wearing nothing but a speedo I knew I gave it my all and I was about to getting even drunker as the night progressed. Congrats to “3/4th’s” Matt and Dan “I like my beers light”, you are both gonna fear me in 2013!